CPAC started this morning in Washington DC. For those of you who might not know CPAC stands for Corporate Policy Acting Conservative… No that’s not right, Crass Pigs Advocating Corporatism? Crappy Politicians Aiding Corporations? Corporate Pretenders Acting Centrist? Callous Pariah Advocating Crap? Causing Paralysis Above Consensus? Now I remember, it stands for Conservative Political Action Conference and the annual meeting started today.

The hot topic for the first day of CPAC seems to be that the President of the United States has used, on more than one occasion, a teleprompter! It is also reported that he frequently makes use of the wheel and indoor plumbing. What the hell is wrong with these people that they try to make something out of nothing? Isn’t there some substantive policy issues that you would like to cap on the President for? Has Obama robbed you of all validity and you really are left with nothing but made up crap to harp about?

The United States is in two wars. The economy is recovering from the worst recession since the great depression. The President just had to create a deficit commission because the Republicans refused to vote for an initiative they co sponsored. Health insurers across the country are threatening to raise premiums up to almost 40%. The filibuster is being abused like at no time in the history of the nation… And the Conservative Political Action Conference is obsessed with the use of teleprompters. Heaven help us if these people ever regain power.

Snap out of it! The two party system only really works if there are two parties and the right is driveling on about nonsensical bullshit at a time that we need adults to solve real problems. It reminds me of a quote from “The American President” that one of my readers sent me recently.

Being President of this country is entirely about character. For the record: yes, I am a card-carrying member of the ACLU. But the more important question is why aren’t you, Bob? Now, this is an organization whose sole purpose is to defend the Bill of Rights, so it naturally begs the question: Why would a senator, his party’s most powerful spokesman and a candidate for President, choose to reject upholding the Constitution? If you can answer that question, folks, then you’re smarter than I am, because I didn’t understand it until a few hours ago. America isn’t easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, ’cause it’s gonna put up a fight. It’s gonna say “You want free speech? Let’s see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who’s standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country can’t just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the “land of the free”. I’ve known Bob Rumson for years, and I’ve been operating under the assumption that the reason Bob devotes so much time and energy to shouting at the rain was that he simply didn’t get it. Well, I was wrong. Bob’s problem isn’t that he doesn’t get it. Bob’s problem is that he can’t sell it! We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you, Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who’s to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections… We’ve got serious problems, and we need serious people, and if you want to talk about character, Bob, you’d better come at me with more than a burning flag and a membership card. If you want to talk about character and American values, fine. Just tell me where and when, and I’ll show up. This is a time for serious people, Bob, and your fifteen minutes are up. My name is Andrew Shepherd, and I *am* the President.